I'M NOT AN UKE!
by PedoBear.Rapes.You
Summary: "I'M NOT AN UKE!" Both Gaara and Sasuke have uttered these words when it comes to Naruto, but let's be honest. They are. They sooo are or will they prove us wrong? NaruGaara with a hint of NaruSasu/GaaSasu. Slow start on the Sasu part! Warning: Sprinkle of crack, dash of fluff, cup of yaoi, and tablespoon of lemon!
1. Frappe

_Setting: Konohagakure. Gaara, (The Kazekage) is visiting the Hidden Leaf village for a casual occasion. He's hanging out with Ino and Sakura at a locally owned coffee shop. (All official business has been taken care of) Enjoy a bit of OOC and crack! ^-^_

* * *

"You'd be the uke." When did this topic come about? Let alone when did I become gay?

Well, I guess the gay thing...that's sort of correct. I hate that word though. I prefer rainbow enthusiast.

What? I like the term. It's much more...flamboyant. Something I'm not.

Let's get back to the present though not my head. When this topic came about I was sitting with Ino and Sakura.

Downfall #1. Everyone knows they are the _biggest _yaoi fangirls in the history of ever.

They were talking about who would be cute with whom. Example: Kiba and Naruto

The minute they let that roll off their tongues my frappe ended up all over Sakura's face. I felt slightly bad.

It was her fault though! She shouldn't have suggested that Naruto and Kiba be a yaoi pairing. No.

"Come oooon, Gaara-chan! You know it's true!" I shook my head at the pink haired medic-nin. No. No. Nope.

"You don't agree? You're usually all for our conversations about yaoi pairings!" Ino interrogated.

Maybe it's because you're talking about Naruto. Ever thought of that, blondie?

"Is it Naruto?" Oh, apparently she had.

"No." I muttered into my drink. No matter how many times I denied it the two knew better than anyone how I felt.

"It is. Ino! I told you it was a bad idea." Sakura scolded her blonde friend. I sighed. They tried, they really did.

"I just wanted to make sure he still had feelings for him." My eye twitched. I have liked Naruto since the day I met him over three years ago.

"It's obvious he does." I'm still here...

"You know, I can hear you." I said. The two looked at me and gulped.

"Oh! Sorry, Gaa-chan we know." Sakura said with her naturally sweet smile. More like naturally deceiving. She is a vicious bitch when she's pissed. I don't understand what Sasuke sees in her.

"You'd so be the uke." Ino announced as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. I am _not _a fucking uke!

"What?" I asked. I had to make sure I heard her right.

"If you and Naru-kun were in a relationship you'd sooooo be the uke." Yep, I had heard her right. My frappe was going down her cleavage.

"GAA-CHAN!" Sakura squealed as I started my movement to pour the coffee-filled drink down the platinum blonde's shirt.

"What are you three up too?" I turned my head to find Naruto staring at the three of us. I realized how the scene looked almost instantly. My hand _was _on Ino's boob and all that. I ripped my hand away and put the frappe back down on the table.

"Nothing." I mutter.

"I was just telling Gaa-chan here how he'd be-" I launched myself over the table at Ino. I could sense the sweat-drop of both Sakura and Naruto. Oh well. Naruto is _not _finding out that I'm 'gay' because of her!

"Er, Ino and Gaara are just having a nice debate is all." Sakura clarified for Naruto.

"Ah, that's interesting." He said.

"Uzumaki-san! Your coffee!" The barista held up his drink. Naruto nodded and walked back over to the counter. I let go of Ino's mouth.

"Why can't I tell him!?" She asked.

"Are you crazy?!" I asked her right back.

"Who's crazy?" Well, that counter wasn't as far away as I anticipated. That...and Naruto is really fucking tall.

"No one." I said in a monotonous voice. Naruto grinned and pulled up a chair.

"Doesn't sound like no one, _Gaa-chan" _I glared at him. The only ones allowed to call me that are Ino and Sakura.

"Don't call me that." He smirked. Damn it. That smirk gets me _ever tim._

"Why not? _Gaa-chan._" I'm not sure what's worse. The fact that I can feel my face heat up, or the fact that he's purposefully emphasizing my nickname.

I could hear Ino start to giggle. I glanced over at her. She pointed at her phone. Our universal signal to check our text messages.

May as well.

"I need to look at this." I slid my phone open.

**Ino: **Gaa-chan and Naru-kun! Sooo cute! soo soo cute! He's flirting with you soooo bad!

**Saku-chan: **Hurry up and make a move already!

I closed my phone. I could feel my face heat up as I glanced at the two girls. Ino winked and Sakura held up her thumb.

"Well, boys. We gotta dash." Ino said spontaneously. What? She's leaving me here...with...him!?

"Yea, later!" Sakura got up and followed Ino out of the coffee shop. They are getting an ear full later.

"So, what did Ino say?" Naruto asked as he took a sip of his drink. Oh, great.

"When?"

"Now. I saw her pointing at her phone." Damn it.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I felt my phone vibrate.

"Uh-huh." Naruto smirked and raised an eyebrow.

**Ino: **If you're not the uke then you betta prove me wrong!

I was going to _murder _her.

"Something about uke and seme and yaoi pairings." I answered casually.

"Oh?" he asked curiously. "Who's she pairing now?" I was about to tell him that she had the idea of he and Kiba but then a brilliant idea popped into my head.

"You won't like it." I said seriously.

"Really? Who'd she pair me with this time?" Apparently Ino had a thing for pairing Naruto with more than one person. He is the universal type of guy.

"Me." I said casually as I took a sip of my frappe.

"Oh really?" I nodded while playing with my straw.

"Yup. Sort of awkward, huh?" Naruto grinned.

"Nah." If I had eyebrows they would have been raised in curiosity.

"Why is that?" I asked.

"Well I don't think it's awkward. At least, not when I want that pairing to be a reality." That boy was lucky I didn't have anything in my mouth. It would have been spat right out at his face. Apparently I must have given him a pretty funny look if he had to explain himself.  
"What I mean is that... for a while I've... it's just that... you see... I've been wanting too... would you be willing..." he went on like that for a good five minutes.

"Naruto." I finally decided to stop the poor fellow.

"Hmm?" I rolled my eyes.

"Video games and pizza?" He broke out in a grin.

"My apartment." I nodded. Sounded like a good first date to me. We walked out of the coffee shop only to be attacked by Ino and Sakura.

"JUMP HIS BONES!" Ino shouted in our faces.

"Ino!" Sakura squealed. She was hanging out with Hinata too much.

"What? We still need to know if Gaa-chan is uke or not." Ino said with a huff.

"Ino-chan you have to be patient. You'll know soon enough." Naruto said with a grin as he patted her shoulder. I could see the squeal rise inside of her.

"Alright, but let me know a.s.a.p." I rolled my eyes. Why did I tolerate nonsense such as these two?

* * *

_Chapter one of: I'M NOT AN UKE! This was originally a one shot but when I ended it like this I realized I had room for...SO MUCH MORE. Teehee! I've always wanted to do a...crack fic? If that's even what this is. I think it is...mainly because Gaara's hanging out with Ino and Sakura. Anyway. Tootles! _


	2. Cacti

_Setting: Sunagakure, Sand Village. Gaara is currently under "attack" by his sister while he attempts his paper work in his office. Naruto comes to visit. Chaos ensues. Let's watch folks._

* * *

"No,"

"Yes,"

"Am not,"

"Are too,"

"Not,"

"Too," Temari and I had been at it for an hour. At what, you ask? I'll tell you.

It is apparent that our lovely pig, Ino, has been consulting with my sister. How do I know? Let's rewind, shall we?

_One hour earlier._

"SABAKU NO GAARA! YOU LITTLE TWIT! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT YOU'RE DATING NARUTO?!" First of all, ow. She had been yelling right in my ear.

Secondly, when did Naruto and I start dating? We went _on _a date. You can't even really call it a date it was something we did every time I was in Konoha except with the added fact he stuttered and blubbered and tripped on his words when he asked me to hang out with him.

I was actually the one that suggested hanging out. So, as you can see, it wasn't a date.

"Who told you this?" I asked my hyperactive older sister.

"Well, Ino told Sai who told Chouji who told Kiba who told Hinata who told Tenten who told Neji who told Sasuke who told Shikamaru who told me!" I blinked.

"What?"

"Ugh! Shikamaru told me!" Oh.

"How does he know?"

"I _TOOOOLD_ you! Ino-"

"Don't do that again! So, Ino told someone and they told someone else and this chain continued until it got to Shikamaru and then you?" I clarified.

"Yes!" She grinned.

"I'm going to kill her." I muttered under my breath.

"You can't do that! Tsunade-sama wouldn't appreciate you killing one of her kuniochi!" I rolled my eyes.

"Fine, I'm going to maim her." Temari took a step back and looked at me with a pouty face. "What?!" I asked.

"Don't harm her! Sai would be terribly upset!" I furrowed my nonexistent eyebrows.

"Sai? What does Sai have to do with anything?" She gave me a shocked look.

"I knew you were oblivious but not _that _oblivious! Ino is like...one of your best friends! Come on, otouto!" She nudged my shoulder.

"I still don't get what this has to do with Sai."

"Oh, never mind! I'll let you wallow in your ignorance!" She turned to walk away. Ignorant? Me? Pfft, no.

"I'm not ignorant!" I argued.

"Yes you are,"

"Nope,"

"Yes,"

"No,"

"Yes,"

"Am not,"

"Are too,"

"Not,"

"Too," Get it? Yea. Okay. Now that you're up to speed let's get back to the present.

"Go away."

"No!"

"Yes,"

"No,"

"Temari,"

"What? GAARA YOU ASSHOLE!" I love sand. Have I expressed my undying love for sand? I love it. Just...looooove it. Yes. Well. Anyway.

I had picked Temari up and chucked her out of my 'office.' I don't like the term office. It makes me feel old. I'm seventeen for craps sake! I shouldn't feel old and I shouldn't have an office! But I do...and I do. So, yea.

"GAARA YOU LITTLE PRICK LET ME IN THERE!" Temari started banging on the office door. Come at me, bitch. I will sand blast your ass all the way to Konoha! Hah, sand blast...yea...

There was more banging.

"Temari go away!"

"Gaara? Let me in!" Naruto?

"What's the password?"

"Don't make me call you-" I let the sand that had been holding the door shut, fall.

"FINE! FINE! Don't say that word!" I heard him laugh as he pushed the door open.

"Sucker." I glared at him.

"What are you _doing_ here?" I questioned.

"Huh, I thought that you'd be happy to see me, Gaa-chan!" I frowned. I did not like his use of that nickname.

"Stop it." Naruto grinned his infamous grin and sauntered over to my desk.

"Stop what?" He asked casually. Casual my ass.

"Never mind." I huffed and glanced down at my paper work. Paper work? Naruto? Paper work? Naruto? Decisions, decisions.

"Ah, c'mon Gaa-chan! Let's go do something fun!" I raised a nonexistent eyebrow. Geez, I do that a lot.

"Like what?"

"Lik-"

"YOU'RE AN UKE?!" Temari came barreling through the door with her wrists flapping in the air and the most excited expression she could possibly wear.

"W-what?" My eye twitched.

"Ino just told me! You're the uke!" I stole a glance at Naruto. He was suppressing hysterics.

"Temari," I tried my _damnedest _to keep my voice even.

"Yes?" She was grinning and had that 'fangirl' glint in her eye.

"I..." I stopped

"You?"

"I, AM _NOT_ AN UKE!" I shouted in her face. Her eyes went wide and Naruto lost it.

"Bu-bu-but I-I-Ino said-"

"WHO CARES?! SHE'S A DUMB BLONDE!" That was a bad idea...

"HEY!" Naruto and Temari said in unison.

"I take that personally!" Naruto.

"I take that offensively!" Temari.

"No! I didn't mean it- GAH!" I gave up. "OUT! EVERYONE OUT!" I threw Naruto and Temari out of my office.

"Oh, c'mon Gaa-chan! I was just having some fun!" Naruto hollered from the other side. I didn't really care.

I sat back in my comfy chair and pouted.

"I'm not an uke." I muttered.

"What?" Naruto asked on the other side of the door.

"I'M NOT AN UKE! SAY IT! TELL ME THAT I'M NOT AN UKE!" I heard Naruto laugh.

"Sorry, babe."

Fuck every one.

Up the ass.

With a cactus.

Yea.

Decision made. Paper work.

* * *

_Well, that's a wrap for chapter 2. I'll try to stay low key with "random chaos." When I say random chaos I mean that no one acts like they're supposed too...and Ino's a hosk. xD Don't ask. I won't tell._

_otouto: little brother_

_Review? I love reviews! They're like early birthday presents...which is..in like...four months...in...exactly...three days! (cheesy grin) So?  
Either way, shpanks for reading! Love, Bear!_


	3. Pressure Point

_Setting: Sunagakure, Sand Village, the room in which Naruto is staying while he is at the village._

* * *

**Nartuo Pov:**

"You can kiss my-"

"Finish that sentence and I swear on your life that my fist is going to collide with your testicles." Well fuck a duck, I _really _must have pissed Sakura off this time.

Why was Sakura even here? I don't even- No! Don't question it. Just don't.

"Saku-chan, what're you doing here?" DAMNIT! NARUTO WHAT DID I JUST TELL YOU?!

"I'm here because you've got a Kazekage to keep entertained! So, WAKEY WAKEY!" Oh, yea. That's today, isn't it? Fuck another duck.

"Right. I knew that."

"You forgot, didn't you?"

"Yea."

"Figures."

"Shut up!" Sakura keeps giving me crap. Like a SHITTON of a crap about how I'm a 'bad boyfriend' for forgetting that I'm supposed to carry out a mission that contains my supposed 'boyfriend.' Well, let me ask you! WHEN DID WE START DATING?!

I mean, THE FUCK?! All of the sudden Ino and Sakura start going off about how Gaara's an uke which pisses him off to no end. (It's true though.) The next thing I know everyone is asking me if we're dating! What?!

W-H-A-T? Yea, I've had a thing for Gaara since I met him but WHAT?!

It's insane. I almost threw Kankuro out the window yesterday. I thought he was going to murder me. He didn't though, want to know why?

I'LL TELL YOU! He said: "I can't touch you. Gaara'd kill me." I'm not sure when I picked my jaw up off the ground but it's still sore from being unhinged for so long. What am I? A snake!? Oh god, no! I don't want to turn into fang face! Anyone but fang face! And Guy-sensei! Oh lordy, no!

"Naruto? UZUMAKI NARUTO! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?!" I looked at Sakura.

"Eh? What's it, dattebayo?" She rolled her eyes and placed her hands on her hips.

"You have three seconds." I could feel the question mark form above my head.

"What?" I asked.

"One." Oh, SHIT.

"Two." I started untangling myself from my current position in my blankets.

"THREE!" Sakura grabbed hold of the pressure point on my neck.

"OOOOOOOOOWWWIIIIIEEEEE! SAKURA! LET GO!" I kicked my legs out. Well, it's nice to know that once I'm in undeniable pain they finally come free from the cocoon that was my bedspread.

"Naruto stop flailing! You're going to make me-OW!" Apparently my foot really liked Sakura's shin. Her boobs really liked my face. Awkward. Need I say more? No, but I'm going to anyway.

"Ahem," My hand was pushing up on Sakura's stomach so that I wouldn't be fully smothered by what breasts Sakura does have. Her hands were somewhere else over my head. I'm going to let you in on a secret. The minute I heard that 'ahem' I wanted to jump off a cliff.

Sakura and I turned our heads in sync to the person standing at the door. I was correct. That 'ahem' could only belong to the Kazekage himself. Well, this was going to be interesting to explain. To most people it wouldn't seem so bad, right? Just easily explain why your pink-haired friend's boobs were on your blonde half-naked wanna-be-boyfriend's face. Yea. Totally.

"He-ey, Gaara." I said in a nervous tone. My voice cracked. My voice does _not _crack.

"Naruto, Sakura, I came by to see if everything was alright." There was that long awkward pause in which another gay baby was born. It's cool bro, I'll mentor him/her on how _not _to get his/her guy/girl. You know, because I'm doing such a great job at it I could probably write a book.

One hundred and one ways on how not to get the guy/girl. Yup. I think there are movies and books already with the same idea but...it's better from my point of view. Call me a narcissist but it is!

"I can see everything is fine." Gaara broke the silence. I wonder how many times Sakura would hit me if I were to throw her. Out the window? Maybe. Haven't decided yet.

"Maybe more than fine." Wooooah buddy! Noooooo, no, no!

"Hey! Panda-chan! This isn't what it looks like!" Gaara looked us over again. Great, that _really _convinced him. Good one, Naruto! You're such an idiot.

"Right. I'll just...go." Well, physical pain or emotional turmoil? Fuck ducks!

Gaara walked out the door. I tossed Sakura on the floor, she landed with a thud, and ran out the door.

"Gaara! Wait up a minute!" Gaara turned around to face me. I would have rather taken on Sakura any day when I saw his expression.

"What was that?" I have never seen Gaara sad. Never, not once.

"That was Sakura falling after I kicked her in the shin because she pressure pointed me, dattebayo." DAMNIT! WHY DO I HAVE THAT STUPID TICK?! Mental facepalm moment.

"What?" Gaara went from crushed to confused. Well, I liked that better than the big green-blue sad eyes that pierce your soul and make you feel like you kicked a puppy.

"I just told you." I sighed inaudibly.

"No, why was she pressure pointing you?" Ooooh.

"I forgot to wake up." Don't ask me how that's possible. It just is.

"That...only you." Gaara shook his head and started walking away.

"Hey! Where are you going?" I raised an eyebrow.

"I have a meeting. And you-" His eyes flickered from my face down and then back up. "need to shower and get dressed." I smirked.

"Hard to undress with your eyes what's already undressed isn't it?" Gaara's eyes narrowed slightly. He smirked before turning and leaving me in the hallway. I walked back into my room.

"What happened?" Sakura asked. She was now sitting on the chair. I grinned.

"I don't flirt and tell." Doesn't have as good of a ring to it.

"Naaaruto!" She whined.

"Saku-chan! I need to shower so unless you want to see me buck-ass naked then-"

"See you later, Naruto!" She darted out of the room before I could finish my sentence. I'm slightly offended. Eh, oh well.

Shower time!

* * *

_Hey there! Sorry for the wait! Well my lovelies, here is the third chapter of I'M NOT AN UKE! Even though we all know that he is. This chapter is from Naruto's point of view. We got a little off topic with the uke-ness but that'll play apart again later. Every story needs room to grow! I like writing in Naruto's p.o.v. it's so much fun..._

_Either way! Review! Easter is coming! I'm not religious but hey! Easter gifts are cool! Reviews are like Easter gifts! So are favorites and follows! So...yea._

_Love, Bear._


	4. Challenge Accepted

_Setting: Konohagakure, Leaf Village, Naruto's Apartment. Unofficial visitation. _

* * *

**Naruto's POV:**

I was trying. I swear! I was! I really was. I was trying _so _hard but I couldn't help but let the slight unmanly giggle slip out.

"Naruto?" My red haired companion asked.

"Yea?" I did my best not to smile.

"Did you...just giggle?" I lost it. Sixteen years old and I'm giggling like an idiotic school boy. In front of Gaara whom I like very, very much.

"Yes." I answered after I finally gained my composure.

"Why?" Oh lord...

"Well, you sort of have..." I took my finger and wiped it across his forehead. I showed him the bright purple that was smeared across it.

"What. Is. That?!" He asked in a deadly voice.

"I think it's Kankuro's face paint." I said while I suppressed another giggle.

"How long? Never mind! Get it off my face!" I started laughing again.

"It's a-a really g-good colo-r on you!" He glared at me. "Oh, fine." I walked over to the sink and dampened a rag.

I sat back down and started scrubbing the purple face paint off of Gaara. Poor guy. Who knows how long it had been there?

"Naruto, you're sanding my face off." I snorted.

"I'm pretty sure _you're _the one doing that, Sandman." He raised a nonexistent eyebrow at the nickname. "What?"

"At least you didn't call me, Panda-chan." I grinned a very mischievous grin. "Don't even-"

"PANDA-CHAN!" He smacked the back of my head. "Ow!"

"I told you _never _to call me that." He glared at me.

"But it suits you so well." His glare continued.

"Riiight." I frowned.

"This paint will _not _come off!" I scrubbed harder.

"Ow, hey! Stop it." He pushed my arm away. What? I'm not the most gentle person when I'm impatient.

"Sorry," I was staring at the kanji symbol on his forehead.

"What?" He asked. I could feel my face heat up.

"Nothing, nothing. Why don't we go find Kankuro, maybe he can get this off your face?" I suggested.

"I'm not leaving this room wearing purple face paint." I rolled my eyes.

"Fine, I'll go find Kankuro." I began to stand up but he grabbed ahold of my sleeve.

"You're not leaving either." I stared at him. There was a very long and awkward pause in the space-time continuum. Apparently I stopped breathing at one point.

"Why?" I eventually asked after I decided that I should probably breathe. Wouldn't want to spontaneously turn blue and pass out in front of Gaara, now would we?

Gaara didn't answer me. He let go of my sleeve and averted his gaze.

"Never mind." He muttered under his breath just loud enough for me to hear.

"No, I want an answer!" I raised an eyebrow. "So?"

"I'm not answering." He muttered some more. I sat back down next to him.

"Panda-chan.." He smacked me upside the head. "Ow!"

"I thought we already went through this once today! Don't call me that!" I grinned.

"Tell me."

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"N-naruto?"

"Yes?"

"You're a little too close." I suddenly became aware of the fact that my nose was almost touching Gaara's. This could work to my advantage.

"So?"

"Could you move?"

"No."

"..."

"Only if you tell me what you refuse to tell me!"

"No."

"Then I'm not moving."

"Fine."

"Fine!" We glared at each other. Damn that boy is attractive when he's annoyed. That's probably why I subconsciously annoy him all the time.

After about two hours my arms started to quiver. I wasn't going to waste _all _of my chakra holding myself up. I started to bite my lip as I contemplated my options.

"Will you just tell me!? My arms are getting tired!"

"Why won't you just move?"

"Maybe I don't want to move, ever think of that?" I grinned at his expression. It was a mix of confusion and astonishment.

"What are you playing at?" Geez, he's either just _that _oblivious or he's playing dumb. I'm not quite sure which one it is.

"I'm _playing _at the fact that I'm perfectly comfortable where I'm at!"

"Well, I'm sure by now that you _haven't _noticed that I'm _not _comfortable with where you're at." That's when I saw it. The faint twinge of pink on his cheeks. He was blushing. SCORE! Me: 1, Gaara: 0!

"You're blushing." I finally told him.

"No I'm not!" Instant denial.

"Yes, yes you are."

"No,"

"Yes,"

"Nope,"

"I'm pretty sure that pink flustered look on your face is a blush!" He tried to look anywhere but at me.

"It is _not _a blush." He insisted. Well, aren't we Mr. Denial?! I, Uzumaki Naruto, was going to get him to admit defeat! I leaned in.

"Really? I'm pretty sure your face got redder." It did, actually.

"I'm positive it didn't." He countered.

"I'm positive you're in denial." He glared at me when the word 'denial' rolled off my tongue. "What? It's true."

"Not." He mumbled. Why were we even doing this? I couldn't seem to remember.

"Right, because if I leaned in any farther it isn't like we'd be kissing or anything and that thought _totally _hasn't crossed your mind which is why your face _totally _isn't red. Right, dattebayo?" The tick. That damn thing. It's going to be the death of me.

"R-ight." His voice cracked.

That's when the worse and best thing that could possibly happen at the moment, happened. Ino and Sakura ran in with Temari following behind them.

"GIRLS! I don't know if he's-OH MY GOOOOOOOODNESS!" Temari screeched. Jeesh, she's loud. I suppose our position was a bit more than compromising.

"I KNEW IT! IIIII KNEW IT! THEY WERE GONNA DO SOMETHING KINKY!" Ino yelled. Why was everyone yelling? I was starting to get a headache.

"Hand it over, Mari!" Sakura stuck her hand out towards Temari. What? WOAH. They bet on something, WHAT DID THEY BET ON?!

"What is she handing over!?" I asked.

"Money! Ino and I bet her that we would find you two doing something, er, unsanitary." Unsanitary? UNSANITARY?! MY CLOTHES ARE STILL ON!

"Then she can keep her money." Gaara said. Sneaky bastard. He started to slide away from me.

"No, no give it to them."

"Keep it."

"Give"

"Keep! We didn't _do _anything but argue!" And the glaring continued!

"Who says we won't though?"

"Me!"

"Really?"

"Yes, really!" Challenge accepted.

I lurched forward, pinned the oh-so resistant Kazekage, and pressed my lips to his.

"Nose bleed. NOSE BLEED, NOSE BLEED, NOSE BLEED! AAAAAACK!" Ino started squealing again. I decided to ignore her and continue with what I was doing which at that moment was trying to avoid flying sand from the very, very angry Gaara that was trying to injure me. What can I say? Some days ya love me and the next ya hate me!

SHIT! SAND COFFIN ALERT!

* * *

_That's a wrap for chapter...what chapter are we on? I don't even know. So, should I leave it there? Or continue? Hmm? I dunno your opinions will help meeeee! :D x)  
Thank you lovelies! For all the follows, favorites, and reviews! My cat's birthday's next week...she likes Reviews...for her first birthday present it would be great if you gave her reviews! xD Lawl. She turns 1! Yaaay!_

_Review, Follow, Fav,  
Loooove, Bear!_


	5. Images

_Setting: Konohagakure, The Leaf Village_

* * *

**Gaara's POV: **

Five minutes. That's all I wanted. Five minutes to not be disrupted or annoyed by my sister and her stupid friends. Even worse? The yaoi fangirls.

The worst one of all? Matsuri. My goodness that girl stalks me like crazy. First it was because she liked me and now it's because she found out about the mutual feelings Naruto and I reciprocate for one another. Some people say I should be flattered but that 'some people' also happens to be Matsuri herself.

"No way!"

"Yes way,"

"She hid in your closet?" Naruto and I were having our usual discussion of our annoying fangirls. The current topic: Matsuri.

"Yes,"

"And she saw?"

"_Everything_" I hissed. It just so happened that the not-so-lovely Matsuri had taken it upon herself to hide in my closet after I had taken a shower. You can probably imagine how mortified I am.

"I'm sorry, babe. Now you know how I feel when I see Hinata twenty-four seven! She's a sweet girl but she's a little obsessive. I know Kiba likes her. Why can't they date?!" Naruto asked in subtle agony.

"I don't know. I wish Matsuri would quit following me though. I've started having nightmares." Naruto started laughing at my facial expression. "What?! She's scary." I shuddered at the thought of finding her in my closet again.

"What did these nightmares consist of?" He asked with a raise of his eyebrow.

"I can't say." I honestly couldn't remember if I could I would have told him but all I know is I wake up terrified.

"Hmm, all right." He accepted my ill memory for what it is. "I had a nightmare that Hinata tried to rape me with her dildo." That was a shock.

I gave Naruto a look that said 'the hell!?' before voicing my actual thought.

"She has a dildo?" I questioned.

"I wouldn't know! She did in my dream!" I nodded.

"Well, that's...just...ew." I made a face at the thought of seeing Hinata naked. The girl is gorgeous, don't get me wrong if I was straight I'd totally tap that but...no!

"You're telling me." Naruto lay on his back when he thought of the idea. It was a terrible idea. A terribly '_great'_ idea. "LET'S FIND OUT!" I had to raise my nonexistent eyebrows at this statement.

"Find _what_ out, exactly?"

"If she does!"

"Does what?"

"You know...have one!" I scrunched my nose.

"Er...huh...eh...uhhh...well, let's not and say we did." Naruto frowned.

"No."

"Yes."

"Please!?" He looked at me with the biggest blue puppy eyes he could manage. I melted. I give up! Just throw in the towel now, _Mr_. _Kazekage_! If _one_ guy can make you melt with _one_ look then you're _his-tor-y_!

"Oh, fine." He sat up and grinned.

"Yay!" I love that grin. "Now, what is our strategy?"

"Leave it to me."

About two hours later we, or at least I regretted ever letting the idiot talk me into the idea.

We were standing outside Hinata's bedroom, ready to do our digging when we heard a high-pitched Hinata-like moan. Naruto and I glanced at one another.

Then we heard it again and again but it kept getting louder. Much, much, louder.

"Oooh, Kibaaa!" and that was when I was gone. That's all it took to get the nasty image of our mutt-like friend in my head doing _whatever_ it was he was _doing_ to the girl! I wanted to keep my lunch, thank you much.

"Gaara?! Come back!" Naruto whispered before disappearing altogether himself.

He found me about an hour later in the room I was staying while in Konoha.

"Gaara! You're such a pussy!" I glared at him.

"I'm sorry, I didn't much care for the image that's now embedded in my brain!" Naruto grinned.

"You have nooo idea what they're up to, dattebayo! Some seriously kinky shit." My eyes went more than a little wide.

"You _looked_?!" I asked curiously.

"Yea! Better than a porno." I rolled my eyes and resisted the urge to facepalm. "What?" I facepalmed.

"That's...gross!" Naruto patted my head.

"It's okay, uke-chan. It's okay. Not everyone is into that kind of thing." I eyed him.

"Into _what_ kind of thing?" Naruto grinned his mischievous grin.

"Nothing."

"Liar."

"Yea, but you like it." My nose twitched. "See?"

"See what?"

"Nothing."

"Are we going to keep playing this game?"

"Maybe... or we could play a better game!"

"Like what?"

"Hmm, I haven't figured that out yet."

"Right, when you do let me know."

"I will, uke-chan! I will!"

"STOP CALLING ME THAT!" In my outburst of rage I pounced and in this statement I make myself sound like a kitten.

"Ack!" I pinned Naruto to the ground. Who's the uke now!? "Woah. That...wow."

"What?" Naruto's face was starting to flush.

"I didn't think you _could_ or _would_ do something along the lines of that."

"Yea, well, you pissed me off." He grinned.

"Nice to know, uke-chan. Nice to know!"

"NARUTO!"

* * *

_Nyeh! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to take so long! I've written and re-written this chapter a million kazillion times! Now I feel it's right. This is how it should go. Yes. I like this one. Again! Sorry! MY KITTY IS A YEAR OLD! SHE'S A BIG KITTY! GIVE HER THE REVIEWS SHE DESERVES! x)_

_I adore you all my lovelies!_

_Hugs, Bear!_


	6. Ramen Flavored

_Setting: Konohagakure, Ichiraku's Ramen, Enter: Ino and Sakura._

* * *

**Ino's P.O.V. (a/n: ohhhfuck.)**

I was sitting there with Sakura. You know, minding my own business when I had a thought. Not just ANY thought though. A very kinky thought.

"What if we go and spy on our boooys?" Maybe...not so kinky. The reason behind it was definitely kinky!

"Why?" My pink haired companion asked.

"Well, I had a thought..."

"No shit."

"Don't be an ass."

"Sorry, I get it from my boyfriend."

"And for that I hate him." Sakura giggled. It was a usual thing to go about expressing my hatred of Sasuke. I mean...COME ON! The guy is a douche! HE LEFT HER ON A BENCH! He's cheated on her MORE THAN ONCE and- AND I better not continue...I could go on forever. Either way...it's been two months since the blonde fire-cracker and the red-headed panda got together. Sort-of got together. Day by boring day it gets more and more obvious that they're getting more and more serious. The one thing they haven't done? A REAL KISS. Sure...they've kissed to get people out of the room. Especially Kankuro...and Sasuke and Kiba, did I mention Sai? WELL. They need a genuine kiss. A GENUINE MOTHER FUCKING KISS. I had a thought to make it happen!

"My thought was to get them to actually kiss!" Sakura gave me the 'you're-a-fucking-retard-and-this-is-the-stupidest -thing-I've-ever-heard' look. Long name. I know.

"They _have _kissed." I started flailing.

"NO _THEY_ HAVEN'T! THOSE AREN'T _REAL_!" She gave me the 'how so?' expression. "They only kissed...well Naruto kissed Gaara to get people to leave them alone! That isn't _REAL_!" Sakura sighed.

"All right. I'm in. This is purely for my entertainment though." I giggled, jumped up and down, clapped my hands, and did a dance all before frowning at the sight of my nemesis.

"What the hell is her problem?" Sasuke asked as he walked over to us. Right now? YOU! Ass hat!

"I'm not quite sure." Sakura said with a raise of her eyebrow. Sasuke shrugged before leaning down. Can you say P.D.A? Ewwww! It's cute when it isn't your nemesis and your best friend.

"Okay ladies! Break up the smoochy-smoochy!" I said with a wave of my hands in their faces. Sasuke glared at me.

"Just because no one wants to publicly display any affection towards you doesn't mean you need to ruin it for everyone else. Blondie." OOOOH. It. Is. ON.

"YOU KNOW WHAT-" Gaara and Naruto walked into the room.

"Ino. I'm not even that loud. Turn the volume down to mute." Naruto said while holding his hands up. What is this?! Be a jackass to Ino day?! Fuck that! I'm not going to get them to genuinely kiss! I don't even care! I'm just going to go home and sit in my pathetic little corner eating pathetic ice cream out of a pathetic container because I'm pathetic and no one likes me!

"Sorry." Okay. Maybe I'm a bit melodramatic. I'm still pissed off though! I looked around and felt like a complete fifth wheel! Naruto was leaning to whisper something into Gaara's ear when I devised my plan! I picked up the bowl of ramen I had been eating and threw it at Gaara's face. Don't worry, it wasn't hot anymore!

"INO! WHAT THE HELL!?" He asked when everyone finally comprehended what I had just done. His hair was dripping wet and the liquid trickled to his lips. Hehehe.

"Sorry! I slipped!" The classic excuse! He started to wipe the broth off of his face when Naruto stopped him.

"C'mon," He grabbed Gaara's hand and dragged him out of the room, needless to say Gaara had the most adorable pout on his face EVER. I glanced at Sakura before following carefully after Gaara and Naruto.

"Hold still!"

"I can't it's going into my eye!" Gaara protested as Naruto tried to hold him still. Gaara's one eye was closed while the other tried to blink the fluid away. He licked his lips but more broth dripped onto them. "I don't even like ramen!" Gaara complained. Well. How are they EVER going to work?!

"I'd have traded with you but evidently she was aiming for you and not me." Gaara frowned.

"Why is that anyway!? Bleck. How is there still broth in my hair!?" He asked as he licked his lips again but only to have them recovered in the liquid. Naruto grabbed Gaara's chin and stared intently at him. Gaara's face turned slightly pink as I attempted to hold in a squeal. "What? What is it?" He asked in a confused manner.

Naruto shrugged. "Nothing." He didn't let go of Gaara's chin. I began sending telepathic messages to Naruto. Something along the lines of JUST FUCKING DO IT! Gaara can't go anywhere! He's sitting against the wall on the counter top and you're right in front of him! Just kiss him! DAMNIT! OOOOOHHH aww! CUTE.

Gaara had started talking nervously during my little rant about something I can't seem to remember. Naruto stopped him by capturing his lips in probably the cutest kiss I've ever seen. Ever. Hinata and Kiba couldn't perform a cuter kiss. Naruto pulled away after a second and Gaara's face was tomato red. Challenging his hair color quite.

"Hm. You taste good." Gaara started glaring at him as Naruto burst out laughing. SUCCESS! I fist pumped the air before sneaking away in order to avoid my presence being discovered.

* * *

_Oh. My. Gosh. I'm sooo diddly-dink sorry! I didn't mean to take forever and lifetime to post! DX I have my many excuses but of course they totally DON'T matter! Just ignore me! I'm back in action and writing like there is no tomorrow! Inspiration times 525,600! So. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I know I loved writing from Ino's perspective! I think of her as the biggest yaoi fangirl of all time...so...yea. Tootles!_

_Review, Follow, Fav;)_


	7. Friends Or-

_Setting: Konohagakure, Ichiraku Ramen's-Naruto's apartment_

_ACTION!_

* * *

**Naruto's POV:**

I had been debating about whether or not to kiss him. I mean_ come on_. Perfect opportunity. Not only do I get to kiss my 'not-official-but-still-technically-boyfriend' but I also got to taste a little ramen as well. How many times in a my life is that chance going to present itself? I was silently thanking Ino when I grabbed Gaara's chin.

"What? What is it?" Gaara asked. His face turned bright red. It challenged his hair color quite a bit!

"Nothing." I responded.

"Then why...why are you-" I leaned in to stop him from babbling. Gaara doesn't babble often. Hell, he doesn't usually speak but apparently we're good at bringing out the best (and worst) in each other. I pressed my lips to his. His eyes widened slightly at the sudden contact. I heard a slight squeak from the hallway. Yup. Ino had followed us. I mentally rolled my eyes before pulling away.

"Hm. You taste good." I said as I licked my lips. Gaara's face turned a darker shade of red which I didn't think was humanly possibru!

"Glad one of us thinks so." Gaara muttered under his breath. I grinned. "I'm serious. How is there _still _broth in my hair?" I shrugged.

"I'm not exactly sure. C'mon let's get you back to my place so you can clean up." Gaara nodded as I took his hand and pulled him off of the counter.

We walked back to my apartment. When we got there Gaara headed to the bathroom. He had started pulling off his shirt before he had closed the door. I could feel my face getting red at the thought. You know. Gaara. Naked. Shower. Wet. Naked. Did I mention naked? Yea...he may be shorter than me and smaller built than me but he's still really fucking attractive. I mean COME ON. HOW IS ONE PERSON THAT FUCKING ADORABLE?!

A few minutes later Gaara walked out of the bathroom in a towel.

"Er..." He awkwardly started saying. Oh. Yea. Clothes...but...but..nooooo. Fine.

"Third drawer on the right side." I said. I had been sitting on the couch refusing to look at him for fear of spontaneously blushing and other things.

"Thanks." He had left some of his clothes here after a visitation for his own benefit. Needless to say I was perfectly fine with it. I took it as him saying, 'hey, yea, I _am_ coming back and I _will _stay with you.' Yep. I enjoy that thought and it turned out I was right! Gaara emerged a little while later fully dressed.

"So wha'cha wanna do?" I asked as he plopped down next to me. He shrugged. The atmosphere was a little awkward. Great. I kissed him and now things are weird. Fuuuuck me!

"I dunno." He mumbled as he stared out the window on the opposite wall. I sighed. All right. If things are awkward then no harm in making it slightly worse. I sat up and looked at Gaara as I made my decision.

"Hey, are you okay?" I asked curiously. Gaara glanced at me for the first time since we got back to my apartment.

"Yea? Why?" He asked. If he had eyebrows he would have raised them.

"Well, you seem a little tense." Gaara turned his head to look at me completely.

"Maybe I am a little tense." He responded with a tilt of his head.

"Really? Why?" I asked him.

"Why does it matter?"

"Why are you avoiding my question?"

"Why does _that _matter?" I narrowed my eyes slightly. He was glaring at me.

"Seriously, are you okay?" To many other people he'd look expressionless but I could see him gnawing on the inside of his cheek. I could see that he was debating on answering me. Geez. "Are you acting funny because I actually _kissed _you?" I asked. I saw the flash of "oh shit" on his face. Bingo.

"No." He mumbled. Liar.

"You're lying."

"No I'm not."

"Yes. You are." He shook his head.

"No,"

"Yes,"

"Nope,"

"Yup,"

"Nada,"

"Yada," He gave me a strange look. "Really. What's wrong with me kissing you?" Gaara shrugged. "C'mon Gaara. Talk to me." I slowly started scooting closer to him.

"It seems official..." What? Official? Wait..hold up the phone. Literally. Gaara's afraid of commitment? THAT EXPLAINS EVERYTHING.

"You're afraid of commitment?" I asked as casually as possible. He fell silent looking back out the window. Sorry babe. That won't fly this time. We're having this talk. I sat up on my knees and leaned over Gaara.

"What're you-NARUTO!" I pinned his shoulders down and got extremely up in his bubble.

"Answer me." I said seriously. Gaara turned his head away to avoid eye contact.

"Yes.." he mumbled in a barely coherent manner. I sighed. I honestly really just wanted to laugh. I didn't though.

"Hey, wanna look at me?" I said quietly. Gaara looked at me out of the corner of his eye. "I mean turn your head." I smiled slightly. Gaara obliged.

"What?" He asked in what seemed to me as a slightly curious manner.

"We don't have to be anything you don't want to be. Just Gaara and Naruto. Friends. If that's what you want." Gaara's eyes widened slightly. Apparently he had an epiphany of some sort. "So, wha'cha-" I was cut off when Gaara's hands pulled me down to him. His lips met mine for the second time that day. This time it was a little less awkward but just as great. What can I say? I'm a sap.

Gaara pushed me up slightly as he pulled away.

"I want to be Gaara and Naruto. More than friends but-but not labeled yet." He said in a quite serious manner. I grinned.

"I can handle that." Gaara's lip curved up slightly to make his little smile-that-isn't-exactly-a-smile-but-still-a-smile -smile. "One question though." He gave me a look that said 'ask away.' "Does that mean I can't call you uke-chan?" Gaara glared at me.

"No. You can't call me that. I'm not a fucking uke." I laughed at his expression.

"I know, I know! I'm just teasing you!" Gaara frowned. "Oh come on Panda-chan!" He glared at me more.

"Stop it." I shook my head.

"Paaanda-HEY! OW!" Gaara pushed me off of him and onto the floor.

"Shouldn't call me names!" He said as he stuck out his tongue. I grinned.

"Oh. But I should." He rolled his eyes as we started our spat about his various nicknames. I do like this boy. I like this boy quite a lot.

* * *

_As a few or maybe EVERYPONY might have noticed this chapter was a bit more serious. Less humor and surprisingly it came from Naruto's perspective. Odd? I think so. I think they needed a serious scene...I mean it can't be ALL fun and games. That's just too easy! And I want this story to last! I dunno about everyone else...but...:) _

_Review? Follow? Fav? I'll love you fooooreeevvver! ;D Ciao! _


	8. Damn Him!

_Setting: Sunagakure. Gaara's office._

* * *

**Gaara's POV:**

I had been home for two months now. Naruto had agreed that we'd stay as "friends" but something more at the same time. I wasn't sure what that meant. I sighed into my huge stack of paper work in which my head resided upon. I wasn't exactly sure what to do. I wanted to see him again. I had this awkward pounding in my chest just by thinking about him. I didn't even know why I was thinking about him sometimes. It was quite confusing.

"Hey," Kankuro said as he entered my office after he knocked. I nodded in acknowledgement. "Gaara..." I immediately noted that something was far from usual.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Naruto.." One name and I was immediately interested in what he had to say. I gestured for him to go on. "Naruto is.."

"For fucks sake Kankuro! Will you move out of my way, dattebayo?!" That verbal tick. That voice.

"Here." I kept myself from jumping out of my seat and throwing Kankuro out of my way to get to Naruto. Kankuro finally moved so Naruto could get in.

"Hey!" Naruto said with his huge grin. I couldn't help but smile slightly.

"Hey," I said quietly. The room fell into and awkward silence. I looked at Kankuro and stared him down until he left.

"I'm just gonna...go." Kankuro mumbled. The minute he shut the door I practically jumped out of my chair. Naruto had a similar idea because he met me half way across the room.

"What're you doing here?" I asked him. Naruto's grin widened.

"Mission." He said simply.

"On?" Naruto shook his head. I frowned.

"I thought I should come visit before leaving!" I wasn't going to admit it, but I'm glad he came.

"Oh, why?" Naruto frowned. I loved tormenting him. I didn't get to do it often because I wasn't too good at it. When I did do it though...oh geez.

"Why...? Because I wanted to see you!" I smirked a little.

"Why?" I asked again. He started to get a little frustrated.

"B-be-because!" Oh? Yay.

"Because?" I asked. I gave him my sad face.

"I-I-I STOP IT!" He shouted in my face. I laughed lightly.

"Why?" I continued. He let out an exasperated groan.

"Please stop it!" I shook my head.

"Why?" I waited a moment to see if I'd pushed him far enough.

"Because it's annoying!" This was it.

"Why?" Naruto pushed me back. The bad thing was there wasn't a wall and the force of the push actually knocked me off my feet. I fell onto the ground.

"Oh, crap. Sorry!" Naruto said. He reached his hand down to help me up. I pulled him down with me. "Wha-?" Naruto put his hands out to brace himself. They landed on either side of my head. His face was an inch from mine.

"Hey there." I said with a smirk. His face flushed.

"I-sorry." What was confusing to me was how he hadn't turned the game back around. He was stuttering and blubbering and very nervous.

"What's wrong with you?" I asked him. His face turned a brighter shade of red.

"I-I-nothing." Okay. How easy is it to tell when he's lying? So easy. So freaking easy.

"Tell me." He clamped his mouth shut and shook his head. He wasn't liked this when he first walked in! What the hell's wrong with him! "Tell me." I ordered him. He shook his head again. My smirk returned as his eyes widened. I closed the small space between us. Naruto was surprisingly reluctant to respond.

I ran my tongue across the seam of his lips asking for entrance. To my surprise he hesitated before letting me in. I twisted my leg around his to gain leverage as I 'flipped' him. Bitch. I'm not an uke. Ukes are supposed to be on the bottom! He wasn't too happy with that. I smirked into the kiss. I pulled away momentarily to nip at his lower lip. Naruto smirked. I was too late too realize that he was gaining the upper hand. He was planning on swapping place again! I glared at him.

"What's the matter uke-chan?" He asked. His arm wrapped around my waist as he pulled me off himself. I landed on my back when Naruto pinned me down.

"Twat." I said while glaring at him more intensely.

"Well I have to make you think you have the upper hand sometimes." He said with a grin. I rolled my eyes. I couldn't contain it. Naruto kissed my jawline.

"What're you-?" I was cut off when our "self-interrupted" make-out session continued. After a bit he started kissing down my neck. He nipped at the skin or so that's all I noticed. I let out a slight moan.

There was a knock at the door before it started opening.

"Gaara, is Naruto in here? Oh! There he is!" Sakura asked as she walked in. Naruto and I had split apart faster than one could say 'Aye.' Naruto was leaning on the wall and I was sitting at my desk.

"Here I am!" Naruto said with a fake grin. I could feel the frustration emanating from him. I could also see it if I glanced downward slightly. The poor bastard. That's why he had been so awkward. He had..what's the word? An erection? Yes. That.

"We gotta go!" That poor, poor bastard.

"All right! I'm coming!" Naruto ran out of the room but not before looking back at me with a smirk. Sakura still stood at the door.

"Ah, Gaara-sama?" I looked over at her.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Your hickey is quite noticeable." My face. I could feel the color of red it turned.

"Ah...eh..er.." My head fell upon my paper work as I waved her out. Great. He left a hickey in the most noticeable place he possibly could. Damn it! He deserves the frustration! He deserves the embarrassment! Fuck all!

I touched the "hickey."

"Damn him." I muttered. I was going to get him back. I was, I am. I will.

* * *

_kekeke! NARUGAARANARUGAARANARUGAARA! They should just get it on already! Poor sex deprived Naru-chan! kekeke! GAARA IS SO EVIL._

_Well. Y'all know the drill!_

_Review! Follow! And faaavooooriiiite! ;) Ciao!_


	9. Sealed

**Naruto's POV**

I have never hated Sakura Haruno more in my life. Not only did she interrupt but I had a...er...problem. That and Sasuke was on the other side of the fucking door! He's such a dooouche.

"Hah. Someone's a little-"

"You finish that sentence, Uchiha and I swear on your life I will destroy your face." Sasuke rolled his eyes at my threat. What? I needed too! Again. He's such a dooouche!

"Just, don't be trying to get any of us to take care of that." I rolled my eyes.

"You wish." I said.

"What?" He asked. I smirked.

"I'm not sure if you've noticed, Uchiha, but you're far from my type. I have a thing for red-heads." Sasuke rolled his eyes again. I grinned as Sakura returned.

"Naruto?" She asked. I raised my eyebrow.

"Yea?"

"You left quite a...er.."

"Oh, I know." My grin widened. She rolled her eyes at me. What? I had to get my revenge up on the panda.

"Come on. Let's go." She said as we left the hall for our mission. We were supposed to infiltrate what was left of the Sound Village and find some...person. His name escapes me. Sakura knows. She always knows.

We were off.

**Gaara's POV**

"That idiot! That _idiot_! That _IDIOT_!"

The two words were all I said and thought for a good hour. Can't tell me his mission my _ASS_. They're carrying his barely _alive_ body back here with Uchiha and Sakura who's doing her best to keep them _BOTH_ alive.

I was in a meeting the next day when one of our front guards came in and gave Kankuro a message. He gave it to Temari and her hand instantly slapped over her mouth. I gave them questioning looks and Kankuro shook his head. It was something important and I knew it. They didn't want to interrupt the meeting. Temari calmly walked over to me and handed the paper to me. I slowly opened it. The council was watching me.

_Entrance Record:_

_Haruno, Sakura entered with the help of two of our men._

_Carrying an unconscious Uchiha, Sasuke and comatose Uzumaki, Naruto._

I looked it over twice to make sure I didn't misread it. My head snapped up.

"Meeting adjourned." I ran from the room. Temari and Kankuro followed behind me. I tripped over my own feet when I turned the corner heading to the Hospital.

I arrived roughly five minutes after I had closed the meeting. Sakura and I ran right into each other. She cringed and I helped her back up.

"I'm sorry." I apologized. "Are you alright?" I asked. She nodded and motioned for me to follow her. She had a cup of water in her hands.

"I've been up and down since we got in." She mumbled. She entered the room containing Uchiha and Naruto. Sasuke was awake and slightly coherent. Naruto wasn't. Sakura walked over to Naruto and started working on him for what I assumed was the hundredth time.

"Is he going to be alright?" I asked her. She looked at me with the face that said, "I honestly don't know." I sighed and plopped into a chair. My face met my hands and I tried to keep myself calm. Temari walked in.

"Gaara?" She asked.

"Hm?" I responded.

"Are you okay?" I shrugged. She sat next to me. "He'll get better. You know he will. He always pulls through." I nodded. He always pulls through. Right? Yea. He'll be okay. I stayed there for a while until I finally had to go and finish my meeting. By that time Sakura had a rough idea as to what was really wrong with him.

"What?" I asked her to clarify.

"His seal, sealed him."

* * *

_Multi POV chapter and a bit of suspense?! :O we get a smiggen of humor from Naruto's earlier spat with Sasuke. Don't worry we'll get Naruto back! Then we'll get to the smut xD_

_Review, follow, fav. Seriously. I need it. I rolled my truck yesterday. Make me happy._


	10. Mind Fuck

**Gaara's POV**

"Repeat yourself?" I asked.

"He's been sealed by his seal." I blinked again. Once more. And then a third time.

"Waht?" Sakura rolled her eyes.

"HIS SEAL! THE THING THAT KEEPS THE NINE-TAILS IN! THAT THING!" Oh. Right. I know that.

"Okay. How do I play into this exactly?" Sakura sighed.

"You!" She pointed at my stomach. "You have a seal too! You have to hop into his head and pull him out. Your seal _should_ counter act his when it comes to himself and hopefully yourself!" I blinked.

"Okay." I'm guessing you understand my confusion. I'm sitting there listening to Sakura with a huge question mark over my head like, 'wah?'

"So, hop on in there!" Now I was really confused!

"How am I supposed to do that?!" I asked. I felt someone rolling their eyes. "Stop it Uchiha." I ordered.

"It really isn't that hard."

"Maybe not for _you_, Mr. Sharingan! I'm not sure if you've_ noticed_ but I _don't_ have that!" Sasuke sighed.

"Look at me." Do I have to? Really? Ick. Fine. I looked at the Uchiha and the next thing I knew I was in Naruto's head. Literal mind fuck. I was even more confused than when I hit puberty. Let me tell you, that was confusing.

I looked around the area of which I now inhabited. The first thing I noticed was that it was orange. Of course. His head just HAD TO BE ORANGE. After ranting about the color of the space I was in I went about my way trying to find the idiot.

"NARUTO?!" Yes. To the surprise of many, I shout. I couldn't find him. Not with the blinding orange staring me in the face. I continued my search though. "Naaaaaruuuto! I have ramen!" That didn't work either. That's when I noticed a dark speck in the corner of the never ending landscape. I ran towards it. As I came closer upon it the speck got bigger and bigger until it became a dark area with a cage. Naruto was sitting in front of the cage having a conversation with the creature that inhabited it. If I knew anything I had a feeling Kyuubi was inside the cage.

"Naruto!" I said. Naruto turned his head to look at me. He was shocked.

"Eh? What're you doing here, dattebayo!" I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

"Better question is what're _you_ doing here?" I countered.

"_Me_?! This is _my_ head! I'm _allowed_ to be here!" Naruto said with a frown. I nodded.

"I see. How long do you think you've been in here?" I asked him.

"An hour? Maybe two." He said. A roar of laughter came from inside the cage.

"Try almost_ three days._" I said to him. The laughter continued.

"Ne?! Three days? KYUUBI! YOU TRICKED ME!" Naruto shouted at the cage. The fox came into view.

**"Yes, I may have done something of the sort."** He said between roars of laughter. ** "It's easy to trick someone as naive as you."** Naruto glared at the fox.

"Naive am I? Well-" He didn't finish his sentence because the next thing I knew I was out of Naruto's head and he was coughing in the hospital bed.

"Naruto!" Sakura exclaimed. She ran over to him and started healing the wounds she couldn't get to heal before. Sasuke looked at me and raised his eyebrow.

"You were in there a while." He said.

"I was?" I asked.

"About two hours." I looked at the clock. He was right.

"It only felt like two minutes." I responded. Sasuke nodded.

"I'm fine Sakura-chan! I swear-OW! SAKURA!" Naruto shouted. He cringed and she smirked.

"What was that? I didn't hear you." She said.

"N-n-never mind." He mumbled.

"Thought so." Sakura said. I rolled my eyes. After a little while had passed she and Sasuke left the room. Naruto grinned at me.

"Thanks for pulling me out!" He said. I rolled my eyes.

"Yea, yea." I said. He frowned.

"What? Not happy to see me?" I gave him a look that said, 'don't push me.'

"You nearly gave me a heart attack!" Naruto nodded.

"Okay, well...I didn't!" I couldn't resist smiling.

"I'm gonna hit you."

"Then we'd be in an abusive relationship!" I raised a non-existent eyebrow.

"Relationship?" I asked.

"Er...yea."

"When did this happen?"

"I've always thought of us as in sort of a silent relationship although you didn't want it labeled." I nodded.

"I see." Naruto grinned.

"So...are you gonna hit me? Or just stand there looking pretty?" I smiled slightly. "Ah! I got you!"

"Shut up." I looked away from him.

"Come on, Gaara!" I looked back at him when he said my name. He never fully says my name.

"What?" I asked.

"Come here!"

"Why?"

"Just do it!"

"Why?"

"Because!"

"Why...?"

"I said so."

"And that means?"

"That you should come here!"

"And I should do that?"

"Because I want you to!"

"And you want me over there because...?"

"JUST COME HERE ALREADY!" I smirked at his outburst.

"I dunno..." Naruto sat up and began getting out of the bed. "What're you doing!?"

"If you won't come here then I'm coming over there!" I sighed.

"I'm coming, hang on." I walked over to him as he sat back down. "What do you want?"

"Sleep with me!" Okay. Call me a pervert but my mind went straight to the gutter. That wasn't what he meant at all though.

"I have paperwork!" He pouted.

"Fine..." I headed for the door.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yea you will!" I rolled my eyes and left.

This idiot is going to be the death of me and I'm oddly okay with that.

* * *

_Hey gang! What's up? It's me again! I know chapter nine was all like "lawl...waht?" literally but it was basically a filler chapter. Sorry for that! Now that we've cleared that up guess what's next!? (insert giggle here) NOT TELLING! But if you're getting perverted thoughts you can keep those! Well, you guys know the drill! Review, follow, and favorite! I loooove you! Tootles!_


	11. Sexual Tensions

**Naruto's POV**

"Gaara?" I asked as I knocked on the door to his room. I opened it and poked my head in to find the bathroom door open and that the shower was running. I smirked inwardly. This might work to my advantage. "Gaaaara!" I said while closing the door behind me.

"What?" Gaara asked from the shower.

"Wha'cha doing?" I asked. I was leaning against the frame of the bathroom door.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Gaara asked sarcastically.

"It looks like you're taking a shower." I answered.

"Then I might just be taking a shower!" Gaara responded. "Wait. You answered word for word." Gaara said and then peaked his head out of the shower curtain. I waved and grinned and his face turned the color of his hair.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"Get out of here!" Gaara ordered. I wasn't quite sure what his problem was until I looked around the bathroom and my eyes saw the empty towel rack. This was definitely going to work to my advantage. I smirked.

"Nah, I'll stay." I could here Gaara cursing himself under his breath.

"Fine. Would you get me a towel then?" I thought about it.

"Nope," I could only imagine the color his body had turned. Perfect.

"W-what?! Why?!" He stuttered. I smiled.

"Well, why would I do something that would set my plan backwards." Gaara's head poked out of the shower curtain again. His face was still bright pink.

"Plan?" He inquired.

"Yes, plan." I nodded.

"What plan?" He asked.

"Take a guess." I smirked and his face darkened and he hid behind the curtain.

"I'm never coming out!" I shrugged and started to take off my jacket.

"Then I'll come in." I replied as if it was the simplest solution in the world. It kind of was...and is.

"DON'T DO THAT!" Gaara shouted. He turned the water off and I could see his head resting against the wall.

"C'mon, I'll turn around." I said with a grin.

"Why do I think there's a step after that?" I shrugged. Maybe because there is. Gaara sighed.

"Fine, you _touch_ me and I'll _kill_ you." I thought about this threat.

"You don't mean that."

"No, but I'm serious when I say I'll _severely_ injure you." _Well_, that defeats my plan.

"Oh, alright. Take away _my_ fun!" Gaara pulled back the shower curtain and stepped out. He walked passed me and back into his room. I followed him and decided that his threat was definitely worth it. I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. "So, about that whole...injure thing. I think I can handle it." I said into his ear. Gaara's body turned scarlet and I had to keep myself from smirking.

"Naruto. Let go." Gaara said in a voice that was too calm even for him. I nipped his ear.

"Nnnno." I honestly didn't think it was possible for him to be even redder but hell! He prove me wrong. I kissed his jawline.

"Naruto," I traveled from the hinge and started up. "Naruto," I had just kissed the spot on his neck that causes a chill up his spin when I realized he said my name. Whoops. "Naruto!" I stopped and turned to look at him.

"Hmmm?" I questioned. Gaara looked at me out of the corner of his eye before turning his head. His hand was on my cheek and he moved so our lips met.

"Don't be such a tease." He muttered into the kiss.

"And that's when my alarm clock went off." I told Ino.

"That's when your alarm clock went off?" I nodded. "Shit, no wonder you woke up with such a-"

"Innno!" I warned her. She nodded.

"I get it, I get it. I mean, DAYUM, Naruto. You've got some tension built up if you're having dreams as vivid as that." I nodded.

"I know! I know! I really want-" I covered my mouth. Maybe I shouldn't reveal my sexual desires to Ino.

"Honey, your dream already told me what you want." She giggled. I sighed. I guess you can say I'm slightly depressed because I'm not sure what to do. "Have you and Gaara talked about it?" I looked at her.

"Talked...about what?" I asked.

"You know, sex. Where you both stand on the subject." I thought about it. No, we've never actually talked about it.

"No, we've never talked about it." Ino smiled.

"You should probably do that if you're too afraid to attempt to act on your desires." She nodded.

"How...how would I do that?" I asked.

"Definitely not at the dinner table," I nodded. "when it's just the two of you. Casually bring it up and say something like, 'Hey, Gaara, what are your opinions on sex?' or something. Make it better than that." I nodded.

"I think I can do that!" Ino grinned.

"I bet you can! I've gotta go! I have a date! I'll see you around Naruto!" I nodded.

"See you Ino!" I thought about what she said. Well, I could always ask him tonight! Heh, yep. What could go wrong?

* * *

Gaara showed up at my apartment around five and I had been awkward since the moment he walked in the door.

"Naruto?" He asked.

"Hmm?" I was still thinking about my dream.

"Are you okay?" I turned to answer and hit my head on his. We both fell back holding our heads. "That question applies times two now." Gaara said with his smile.

"Yea, I'm okay. I've just been thinking." I said with a grin. Gaara raised an eyebrow.

"What about?" He asked.

"Er..." my face turned red. His face went blank.

"What could be that embarrassing that your face is that red?" He asked. I started to think of every possible way to explain this.

"Well," he waited patiently. "I had a dream." He nodded. "The dream was really embarrassing and I woke up thinking about what happened in it and I don't know how to approach the topic." Gaara had a confused expression.

"Just say it?" He offered.

"I want to have sex with you." I whispered.

"What?" He asked.

"I want to have sex with you." I said a bit louder.

"I still can't understand the last part." He said with frown.

"I SAID I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!" I shouted. I covered my mouth and felt my face turn the color of Gaara's hair. I looked at Gaara to see his face was redder.

"I-I-I," Gaara stuttered. "I-I-I," He stopped, shook his head, and started again. "The desire is mutual." Gaara responded. His face wasn't red anymore. WHAT THE HELL?! Wait...he said...he said he wanted...YES. SCORE. I DON'T HAVE TO FEEL BAD!

"Oh good," I breathed out a sigh of relief. "I was afraid things were going to get more awkward than I had made them." Gaara smirked.

"Not a chance." Thank the world that this boy is as understanding as he is. "So, what happened in this dream?" Gaara asked.

"Uhh..." Fuck.

"Naruto...what happened?" I closed my eyes and prepared to be punched.

"I cornered you in the shower when you didn't have a towel, followed you out, ignored your threat, and started kissing your neck all while you were naked until you got mad at the fact that I was teasing you." I said in one breath. I opened an eye to see Gaara staring at me. It looked like he was trying not to laugh. "What?!" I asked.

"Nothing," he said before he burst out laughing.

"You're laughing! Something's funny! Tell me!"

"It's just that- you made it seem _bad_!" Gaara shook his head. "I can guarantee that I'm worse." My eyes widened.

"_What_?! What have _you_ dreamed about?!" Gaara shook his head.

"Not telling," I frowned.

"Tell."

"Nope."

"I told you!"

"Yea, well, mine are far worse." I smirked.

"Sexual tension?" I asked. Gaara's face turned red.

"Go away."

"This is my apartment!" I said with a roll of my eyes. Gaara's eyes shot up when I said that. "Tell me,"

"Why don't I demonstrate?" I fell backwards off of the couch and onto the floor when he said that.

"What?!" I asked.

"You want to know, why don't I demonstrate?" He asked again but this time he asked in my ear. He had gotten off the couch and pinned me down onto the floor.

"A-alright," I stuttered. Yea, he made me stutter. He's supposed to be the uke, right? Trust me. He still is.

"It sort of went like this," Gaara said as he kissed my neck and along my jawline until he reached my lips. He pulled away much to my dismay. "and like this," He leaned down and nipped at my collar bone.

"You're teasing," I muttered. I didn't really mind it but eventually we were going to have a problem.

"Maybe," Gaara said with a smirk.

"You're a dick," I remarked.

"You are what you eat." I laughed slightly.

"Nice joke." He nodded before tugging at the collar of my shirt with his teeth. I rolled my eyes with half-hearted smile on my face and pulled my shirt off. Gaara kissed my neck again before working his way down my chest and abdomen. Yup, I had an erection worse than anything my dreams could produce. I also knew Gaara could feel it because he purposefully rubbed against it. The twat. The friction is wonderful until it's purposefully being limited to what the person above you wants you to feel. I'm going to torture him severely.

Gaara reached my pants and began to undo them. I had the perfect opportunity to get the upper hand and I did. I lurched forward off the ground, grabbed his arms, and pinned him.

"I was having fun," Gaara said with a slight pout.

"You're a tease, you know that, right?" Gaara nodded.

"It's a talent." I rolled my eyes and went straight for the spot on his neck. "Nar-" he moaned. Got'cha.

"Hmm? Were you saying something?" I asked.

"I was going to say that you seem a bit more than a little horny." Gaara said with a smirk. I kissed his neck again and worked my way down. I pulled away and made quick work of discarding Gaara's shirt. I heard a knock at the door. I knew I heard it too I just didn't comprehend what it was. My pants had been falling down due to Gaara's success at unbuttoning and zipping them and Gaara had been undoing his own pants while I was nipping at his neck. When he finished he pulled me up to meet his lips. I heard the knock again but paid no heed as my hand traveled down.

"Naruto you idiot-" Sasuke said as he walked in. I stopped everything I was doing and didn't move a muscle. I opened my eyes and looked at Gaara. His eyes were wide and he was just as still as I was. "I'm never going to un-see this." Sasuke muttered. I rolled my eyes causing Gaara to smirk. I got up off of Gaara and turned.

"Is there something I can help you with or did you want to join?" I asked with a serious expression. I was only more than a little pissed off at Sasuke. Why does _everyone _walk in when we're in compromising positions? If I don't answer the door it's probably for a reason. Sasuke's face turned red.

"No! Yes! I mean- There is something you can help me with." I rolled my eyes.

"Make it quick." I said.

"Well, it's going to take a while so..."

"YOU ASS!" I threw a cushion at him and he ducked.

"Now, now. That's no way to treat him." Gaara said as he stood up. Gaara walked up over to Sasuke and leaned up to him. "He didn't know he was interrupting something," Gaara smirked and placed his lips on Sasuke's ear. "did you, Sas-uke?" I watched with a smirk as Sasuke's face went crimson.

"No, I didn't." Gaara stood back.

"See, we shouldn't condemn him for an accident." Gaara said while looking into Sasuke's eyes.

"Really?" I asked as I walked over to them. "Are we supposed to treat him then?"

"Something like that," Gaara said with a nod. He whispered in Sasuke's ear again. "you wouldn't mind, would you? Sas-uke?" I could see how tense his body was by the shaking of his hand. Gaara kissed Sasuke's jawline and smirked. "You ever call me an uke again and I'll tell someone about this encounter." I couldn't hold my laughter in.

"Let him go Gaara, it's obvious he wants it but not if you're going to tease him like that." Gaara shrugged.

"Fine," Gaara gestured to the door and Sasuke left. I fell back onto the couch.

"That's going into my book as the most embarrassing moment of my life." Gaara shook his head and joined me.

"It could have been worse." I raised my eyebrow.

"How so?" I asked.

"We could have been farther into it if it weren't for all the teasing. _That_ would have made for an interesting encounter." I thought about it.

"Oh jeez." My face went red.

"What? Thinking about something dirty?" Gaara teased again. He is a dick. "Where were we? Right, your hand was in my pants and tongue was in my mouth!" Oh fuck. "Shall we continue? Or do you want me to rid you of that so you can see what Sasuke wants?" He nodded down.

"And what will you do?" I asked.

"Take a shower without a towel on the towel rack," he said with a smile. I grinned.

"Sounds like a plan."

* * *

_WHO'S A DOUCHE? I'M A DOUCHE. YOU WERE EXPECTING SASUKE TO JOIN WEREN'T YOU? YOU WANTED HIM TO JOIN! NAUGHTY NAUGHTY! YOU EXPECTED FULL BLOWN SECKS DIDN'T YOU? YOU WANT'ED FULL BLOWN SECKS! NAUGHTY NAUGHTY! Perverts! As I've just shown I absolutely suck at smut and sex scenes and make-out scenes and the whole bit! I personally hate this chapter all except for when Gaara goes all seductive-like on Sasuke. Favorite part. Alright. Enjoy. I'm done for the night. See you next chapter._


	12. Glowing Red

**Sasuke's POV**

I was knocking on Naruto's door. No big deal, right? Right. I heard a noise from inside his apartment.

"Damn that idiot, he _is_ home." I sighed and knocked again. There was another noise. I waited and knocked until I finally got sick of waiting and barged into the place. "Naruto you idiot-" Naruto was shirtless, his pants were falling from his waist, and he was on top of Gaara. I noted the fact that his hand was in Gaara's pants that were also sliding down. Gaara happened to be shirtless as well and had a few love bites on him. Naruto and Gaara froze before Naruto stood up and turned to look at me. "I can never un-see this."

"Is there something I can help you with or did you want to join?" He asked. I could feel my face turn red. His expression was serious and I could sense how pissed he was. Well, he should have locked the damn door! He can't just expect me to _not_ walk in, can he?

"No! Yes! I mean- there is something you can help me with!" I couldn't remember what it was anymore. I kept looking over Naruto and Gaara. Naruto rolled his eyes.

"Make it quick."

"Well, it's going to take a while so..." I mumbled and he threw a cushion at me.

"YOU ASS!" I rubbed my face.

"Ow," I murmured. That actually hurt. I guess that's what I get for interrupting Naruto when he's about to get laid.

"Now, now," Gaara spoke up as he stood. He started walking over to me. "That's no way to treat him." Gaara stood in front of me and leaned up. He put his lips to my ear. I could feel his smirk. "He didn't know he was interrupting something, did you? Sas-uke." Why was I attracted to this? The two of them? I'm dating Sakura! I could feel my face heat up and my pants tighten. Great. This tease of a red-head and that idiot blonde were giving me an erection. How was I going to explain that to _anyone_?!

"No, I-I didn't." I stuttered. Neither of them noticed. Gaara stood back on his heels, wow, he's short.

"See? We shouldn't condemn him for an accident!" Gaara said while looking me in the eye. I clenched my jaw.

"Really?" Naruto asked. He walked closer to the two of us. "Should we treat him then?"

"Something like that," He said with a nod before he was to my ear again. "you wouldn't mind. Would you? Sas-uke." I was so tense that my hand was shaking and the two of them were smirking. Gaara kissed my jawline and I turned my head in response. "You ever call me an uke again and I'll tell someone about this little encounter." He nipped at my ear and backed away when Naruto spoke. I could tell I was tomato red.

"Let him go, Gaara. It's obvious he wants it, but not if you're gonna be such a tease." Naruto said as he laughed and wrapped his arms around Gaara's shoulders.

"Fine," Gaara said simply. He nodded to the door and I slipped out. I ran home as fast as I could and fell onto my bed.

"What am I thinking?!" I scolded myself. If these thoughts kept up something bad was going to happen.

"What _are_ you thinking?" Sakura asked as she knocked on my bedroom door and poked her head in. I shot up from the mini-heart attack.

"Oh, Sakura. You scared me." I said. She smiled.

"Sorry, I thought I'd tell you I'm going to be over at the hospital for a bit." I nodded, she waved, and she left. Big mistake. Naruto popped up a minute later.

"Oi! Teme! What did you want that was _so_ important you just _had_ to interrupt my fun?" I jumped back a foot. The reason being that Naruto's face was an inch from mine.

"N-nothing, I can't remember." I muttered. Naruto glared at me.

"Are you _fucking_ with me right now? Did we rile you up _that_ bad?" My face returned to the red color it had been earlier.

"No!" I snapped. Naruto smirked.

"You're lying." I shook my head.

"No I'm not! You're delusional if you think that I could _possibly_ be attracted to you two fa-" Naruto's hand covered my mouth.

"Finish that word and I'm going to beat you to an inch of death." My eyes widened. "Either way, you are, whether you admit it or not." He removed his hand from my face. "If you can't remember what you wanted then I'm going to leave, but you know if you want to join all you need to do is ask." Naruto smirked at my reaction and turned away. My body was red. I was mentally sunburned. Why? Why was he doing this?

"Why would you say something like that?!" I asked. He shrugged.

"Just thought I'd let you know but..." He turned back to me. "it isn't like you'd ever take either of us up on that offer. Maybe we should just-"

"What do you think you're doing?!" Naruto had leaned down, put his hand on my cheek, and brushed his lips against mine. I fell over after I pushed him away. My lips were tingly, my brain was fuzzy, my crotch might have been throbbing a bit, and my body was glowing red.

"Heh, and you called me the faggot." I mentally twitched. What a douche. I'm going to get him back! Him and Gaara! They're nothing but a bunch of teases! I'm dating Sakura! Don't they give a hoot about her?! "Don't worry about Sakura, Lee could win her over easily now." EH?! LEE?! Fuck it. I'm going to kick his ass if I ever regain the strength in my legs to stand. I looked over at him and noticed Gaara standing next to him.

"By the way Sasuke," Gaara leaned down and whispered in my ear. "you're quite the adorable uke." I could only imagine my face.

"I'M NOT AN UKE!"

* * *

_THREE WAY UKE PARTY! XD Gaara is winning against Sasuke and Naruto is trumping all of them! Ahh the joys...kekeke. I might have to tweek the description. Nah, xD I'm too lazy. You guys have NO idea how much I enjoyed this chapter. THE THOUGHTS OF MAKING SASUKE SQUIRM! Yesh! Heehee! I hope you enjoyed! See you next chapter ;D_


	13. Baka

**Ino's POV**

It had been a few days since I told Naruto to talk to Gaara about the whole "sex" issue when I finally got feed back about it. Surprisingly it didn't come from Gaara or Naruto...it came from Sasuke. Let me tell you something. When your nemesis comes to you for advice you know shit got real.

"Ino, can I talk to you?" Sasuke asked me. I was working the morning shift in the flower shop when he hunted me down. He's never stepped foot in the store before, why now? It gets pretty interesting.

"Uh, I guess. What about?" I asked. He tugged at the collar of his shirt and I could see the tinge of pink on his cheeks. "What did you and Sakura do?" I asked. He shook his head.

"This wasn't about Sakura." My eyebrows went up. Not about Sakura?

"Well, what's this about?"

"It's _sort_ _of_ about Sakura," he mumbled. I nodded and finished an order.

"Go on,"

"How do I tell her that I find-" he mumbled something incoherent. "more attractive?" I gave him a look.

"You're going to have to tell me what the hell you're talking about first and repeat yourself. I couldn't hear a word!" Sasuke leaned in and whispered in my ear.

"How do I tell Sakura that I find males suddenly more attractive?" I almost fell out of my seat! Are all the boys switching sides?! The next thing I know Sai will be joining them too! I don't like that thought.

"How did this come about?" I asked. His face turned red.

"You told Naruto to talk to Gaara about sex, didn't you?" He asked. I nodded. "That's where it began."

"Explain," I sat back in my chair while he explained the entire story to me. I've got to give myself a pat on the back. "So, you're the uke now? Wait, no. It's Naruto, Gaara, and you or are you too shy still that you might actually be seme but you don't know what to do because you think that liking the same gender is wrong?"

"That was quite the run-on." Sasuke said.

"I do that. So, what is it?"

"I'm not an uke!" He said childishly.

"Your name has the word uke in it." Sasuke glared at me.

"Fine!" I put my hands up. "You three can figure it out for yourselves, I mean, you and Gaara are going to start fighting over Naruto now _anyway_." I smirked at the expression on his face. "You didn't think that Naruto would dump Gaara if you suddenly admitted your orientation, did you?" He sighed.

"I don't know what to do." Sasuke ran a hand through his hair and gave a look of defeat. I really wish I could help the poor fellow. I really wish I could.

"Let me give you my perspective on the situation." He looked over at me.

"Go on,"

"Admit you're bisexual and try to avoid Naruto and Gaara. It's that simple. They're just teasing you and _you_ know it." Sasuke nodded. He looked a little sad. The poor dear.

"Thanks, I guess. I don't have any better ideas." I nodded and Sasuke walked out. I sat there for moment before untying my apron, throwing it on the counter, and marching out the door. I headed for Naruto's apartment.

"Naaaruuuutooo," Was what I heard when I was standing outside of his apartment door. Well, Gaara's a moaner. Nice to know. I prepared myself for the worst, jiggled the handle to see if it would give way, and barged in. My hand was over my eyes and I heard a crashing noise and a few gasps and grunts. I can only imagine what happened.

"NARUTO UZUMAKI! GAARA NO SABAKU!" I said at the top of my lungs.

"_INOOOO_!" Naruto and Gaara shouted in unison. I put a hand on my hip as I kicked the door shut.

"Get dressed. I want to be able to give you the _evil_ _eye_ as I lecture you twats!" I heard a groan.

"I wasn't finished..." Naruto mumbled. I snickered slightly.

"You two will _never_ be able to finish if you don't get dressed. I'll chop your dick off first." I heard the rushed noises of the two of them tripping over each other while trying to dress and sort through one another's clothes. "Minimum of pants."

"Ow! Fuck!" I heard Naruto say at the sound of a zipper.

"Zip yourself?" I asked with a smirk.

"_Noooo_." I heard Gaara chuckle.

"We're dressed." Gaara said. I removed my hand and surveyed the room.

"Is it safe to sit on the couch?" I asked. Naruto raised an eyebrow. "Did your _semen_ recently stain the cushions?" I clarified.

"No, we always fall off before hand." Naruto replied as he scratched the back of his head. I nodded and took a seat.

"Sit down." I ordered.

"Ino, this is my apartment. What do you want?" Naruto asked as he did as I ordered.

"Why are you two messing with Sasuke?" I cut to the chase. They shared glances before looking back at me.

"Why does it matter?" Gaara asked.

"Because he's confused and you should stop." They shared glances once again.

"I thought you detested the Uchiha, _Ya-ma-na-ka_." Gaara continued.

"Okay, Gaara, I'll take it from here." Naruto said causing Gaara to quiet down. "Why _does_ it matter? We were just having fun." I sighed.

"Because Sasuke's all sexually confused now!" They looked at each other then at me and then back at each other.

"What?" Gaara asked. "I thought he was just annoyed and embarrassed. You're saying my assumptions were _correct!_?"

"Yes! Now he doesn't know what to do! You two need to talk to him! _Without_ teasing him!" I insisted.

"He interrupted our _almost_ sex!" Naruto complained. Gaara smacked him upside the head. "Ow! Hey!"

"Naruto. _Sasuke_ _is sexually confused._ How often are you going to hear those words?" Gaara said. I had this eerie feeling they were reading each other's thoughts by just a look. Naruto broke out in a grin before looking at me again.

"Alright, we'll talk to him. I don't understand though. It isn't like he's diseased and infecting people. Why is this so important? He's a big boy! Can't he sort out his attractions on his own?" I shook my head.

"Not when it involves an idiot." Naruto frowned.

"Gaara's not an idiot." Gaara hit him again.

"I swear, why do I put up with you?!" Gaara asked as he marched out of the room.

"Gaara! Wait!" Naruto stood abruptly to chase after him.

"Oi. You two. MAKE SURE YOU TALK TO THE CHICKEN ASS!" I shouted before leaving. I heard 'we will!' and closed the door. "Baka."

* * *

_I HAVE AN EXCUSE. So. My mom and I mooch off of our neighbor's unprotected internet and he moved...so...I don't have internet...THAT'S WHY THIS WASN'T UP. I SWEAR ON MY LIFE IT WOULD HAVE BEEN UP AN ETERNITY AGO IF IT HADN'T BEEN FOR THAT. T-T i'm internetless again! MY LIFE. This is my life. Oh! School starts this week and I have a job again...so...um...well...I'm sorry for the wait. ^-^ See you next chapter! kekeke!_


	14. Jokes on You 'Cause I'm into That

**A/N: It's the chapter you've all been waiting for. TO THE YAOI! **

**Naruto's POV**

_"I'm going to make you scream." He said in a sultry voice to the red-head. _

_"Do it." The red-head dared him with a smirk. In what looked to be a violent act, he pinned the red-head._

_"You're going to regret saying that." He raised an eyebrow somewhat suggestively._

_"I'm hoping so." The red-head leaned up slightly to catch the blonde in a heated kiss. _

"WAH!" I woke up with probably the worst morning wood ever. Gaara was sleeping next to me. I'm sure you're all wondering by now, have you guys done it yet? For your information, no. We haven't. People, such as Ino and Sasuke, keep interrupting us. Sucks to be us, right? Right. Ino walked in on us NAKED while Gaara was pinned against the wall and I was definitely- maybe I shouldn't go that far into detail. I don't want people to think lesser of me...

"You o-kay?" Gaara asked me sleepily.

"Yep. I'm perfectly fine." I lied. I glanced at him with a pained expression. 'How am I going to get rid of this without him-WAAAAIT.' I had a brilliant idea. Gaara sat up and rubbed his eyes. He looked at me curiously.

"You sure?"

"Well, erm..." He gave me an odd expression. "I suppose I'm not sure."

"How do you mean?" I looked down and then back at him with a mischievous grin. "I-I'm not sure I like that look." I pushed him back and pinned his arms above his head.

"You probably shouldn't." Gaara looked at me funny.

"Are you...horny?" He questioned me with what seemed like almost a smile. I leaned down and whispered in his ear.

"Maaaaybe." I teased and kissed his neck.

"Is the door locked?" I looked at him and thought for a moment.

"Fuck that, I'm not stopping this time." I kissed him and he willingly responded. I slid my tongue across the seam of his mouth and slipped it in when I was granted the access I asked for.

"Mmmm," Gaara made a slight noise of pleasure. His tongue fought mine in an attempt for dominance but to no avail, obviously. I pulled away, kissed his jawline, and trailed down his neck with kisses. "You're teasing me," he said with a bit of annoyance.

"No," I replied. I let my nose barely touch his chest as I made my way to my first target. "now I'm teasing you." My tongue flicked over the top of his left nipple.

"Yea," Gaara said in a strained manner. "now you're teasing me." I smirked and did the same to his right nipple. When I had my fun with that, I moved 'South' and tugged at the waist band of his boxers. "Not yet!" Gaara spontaneously gained the upper hand and we switched positions. I was pinned beneath him and he was smirking down at me. "My turn." I have to hand it to him, I was impressed and turned on all in one. He leaned down and nipped at my collar bone with his teeth.

"Eh, no fair!" I murmured. He rolled his eyes and kissed me. His strategy was a good one. His tongue fought for dominance again and lost, but that was because he was also focusing on removing my boxers. He succeed. I moaned when his handed started stroking my member. The stroking then turned into something a bit more vigorous. I'll let your imagination do the work on that one. "Ahh, Gaara, yo-u're teasing me!" He kissed my neck and went down.

"Maybe, only a little." He smirked and ran his tongue over the head of my member sending shivers of pleasure up my spine. "Okay," he said. I looked at him questioningly. "Maybe a lot." I glared at him. His tongue repeated the same motion for a few moments. He seemed to get slightly bored with it and encircled my cock with his mouth. He began to suck and suck and suck. I thought I was going to go crazy.

"Ahhh, ahhh," I moaned. He began to 'deep throat' and I could feel every nerve in my body tingle. I wasn't going to let him win. Nope. I wouldn't. "Gaara?" He didn't stop.

"Hmmm?"

"I have a question for you that requires a yes or no answer." He stopped what he was doing and gave me the most _annoyed_ expression I've ever seen.

"What?" He asked.

"How pissed off would you be," my shin came up and pushed him back as I sat up and pinned him again. "if I did that?" He gave me a look that I couldn't define.

"Depends, what're are you going to do?" I leaned down and whispered in his ear.

"I'm going to make you _scream_."

"Do it," He dared me.

"You're going to regret saying that." I told him as I kissed his neck and pulled off his boxers. He looked me in the eye with an expression that could only be labeled as desire.

"I'm hoping so." I smirked and positioned myself between his legs. I eased myself in and saw him physically cringe. I hesitated before moving. I saw my cue by the look on his face and slowly pulled out only to slam back in.

I might be a little merciless.

Gaara moaned and I took that as my cue to speed up the pace a bit. I pulled out and slammed back in and pulled out and slammed back in. "Ah, aah, Naaaruto," I sped up the pace a smig more. Gaara's moaning got louder causing my slight pause in penetration to stop. The louder he got, the faster and harder I went. "Naaaruto, AAh,"

I instinctively knew when he was going to orgasm. I felt that was a good thing for myself because I personally couldn't last much longer. I thrust in again and that's when I got it. Everyone's got one. I believe girls refer to them as 'g-spots' or whatever. I didn't actually think I'd get him to scream. Go me.

"AAAH! NAAARUTO!" I felt his nails dig into my back as I came. I understand why Kiba always has scratches on his back now. They definitely aren't from Akamaru.

I collapsed next to Gaara and looked over at him. He was breathing heavily and it seemed to me he was still coming down from his 'sex high' as I call it.

"You look a little-" I was about to make a snarky remark when Gaara cut me off.

"Suck my dick." He said instinctively with a glare.

"Jokes on you 'cause I'm into that." He looked at me for a moment before cracking a smile.

"Idiot." He muttered. That's when I heard the door of my bedroom open.

"You two. You two are loud." Ino was standing there with Sasuke next to her. Her arms were crossed and she had a smirk on her face. Gaara and I sat up, tangled in my sheets, and looked at her.

"Do you ever knock?" I asked her.

"Yea, all the time. You're just trying to get laid every time I do." She said. "I was nice and waited until that one stopped screaming your name." She nodded her head towards Gaara. I rolled my eyes and looked Sasuke over. His face was slightly pink and I could tell he had an erection.

"Wanna join? We've got room for one more." I offered with a waggle of my eyebrows. The shade of pink on his face darkened and he glared at me.

"What's he doing here anyway?" Gaara asked. He rested his arm on my shoulder to keep himself from falling backwards.

"I brought Sasuke here so that you could talk to him like you promised. Obviously you were a bit busy. So we waited." Ino explained.

"I'm just gonna..." Sasuke made his way for the door and Ino blocked his escape.

"Oh no you don't! I'll make those two clean up and get dressed and then we'll have a nice conversation about your sexuality!" He hung his head in shame. What a pussy, letting Ino push him around. "Now you two. Go get cleaned up and put clothes on or I'll chop your cocks off." She pulled out a kunai. My eyes widened and I looked at Gaara. Gaara threw a pillow at Ino and Sasuke.

"Then get out of here!" he chided. I rolled my eyes as they left the room. I dragged Gaara into the bathroom and started the shower.

"Sometimes, I really love my dreams." I mumbled.

"Really, why?" He asked.

"Because they give me great ideas." I smirked. "Hey, by the way..." I leaned in and whispered in his ear. "You're so an uke." Gaara looked at me for a moment.

"I'm not an uke." He said with a glare.

"Deeeeniiiiiaaaal! You definitely took it up the a-OW!" Gaara threw a shampoo bottle at me and flipped me off. "You have things backwards! I fucked you!" I laughed as he threw the conditioner at me too.

"WILL YOU TWO QUIT SCREWING AROUND AND TAKE A FUCKING SHOWER? NO ONE CARES WHO TOOK IT UP THE ASS!" Ino shouted from the other side of the door. We shared horrified looks and obeyed her.

"Crazy lady." Gaara muttered.

"Very crazy." I agreed.

"I HEARD THAT!" Ino shouted. I rolled my eyes. Gaara hates to admit it, but he is definitely _my_ uke.

* * *

_The chapter everyone has been waiting for. Secks. Sadly I realized that it was from Naruto's point of view so it's not nearly as...hot? I guess if we also want a second part from Gaara's POV I could totally write that. I apologize profusely for any grammatical or spelling errors. I did read this over and I did spell check but I wrote this while dead tired and sick and it's like 2 a.m. so forgive me. I just didn't want to keep people waiting. I love you all! Oh!** I wanted to dedicate this chapter to** _**Hikiri_! ^-^ your reviews make me smile! _**_Shpanks guys! Love you! Sorry for the long-ass A/N! ciao!_


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